I don't smile anymore

Once upon a time you were the one thing that kept me smiling...
the sort of smile that could evoke blushes of pink on my cheeks...
but its gone now... I don't smile anymore.
Why do your actions differ from the words that spills from your lips?
Why can't you just say what you really feel and leave me alone?
I sometimes wish that you could feel how
So that you would understand.
Regardless of the contempt I feel towards you...
The fool that I am still loves you.

Three Words

Its been awhile since I wrote...
So many things to say
So many things I feel
So many pains and smiles
but there are just three words to express them all
I miss you.

Right here

Right here
Right now
as I sit infront of this screen
I know that I am losing you.
Right here
Right now
Slowly but surely
I am putting you away
and closing the part where you belong.
Right here
Right now
I dread the day when
I look at you and I feel nothing
and I walk away with
and empty echoing heart
and a broken smile on my face...

Beautiful...

Thanks for calling me today.
For calling me Beautiful and
For saying that I was special to you...
I loved you then
but I think you knew that already
I think you knew that all along...
but if you didn't...
I do.
I do love you.

Worthless...

After much thinking
about how much I mean to you...
After hours of thinking
if you were worth it...
After pouring my heart to you
and having you just keep mute...
I finally know how worthless
I am to you
And for that I will always hurt.

I wept...

I had a dream of you...
You reached out your hand towards me
and I took it.
We danced,
We swayed...
You held me close
I wept...
and then I let you go
for you don't belong to me anymore.

You don't want me anymore.

Just when I thought that we were alright,
That perhaps we could pick up where we left off...
You turn away again
And I am left alone
Embaressed at myself for having needed you so much.
My heart broke a little when you walked away
But it was already broken
and was never fully mended you see...
So forgetting you again and putting you away
Seems so much easier to do today.

Yet I don't want to keep you in that wooden scented box.
I want to congratulate you on your joys
and your happiness,
I want to be in your life once more...
But the emptiness of the screen
Said it all...
You don't want me anymore.